we have pet lesbian snakes
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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