Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
