just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Are we still banned from the library?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize