The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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