she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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