I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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