you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
