I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
