Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
