I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Alive.
So much puke
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
