I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think i have herpe
just one?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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