What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
