Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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