and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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