Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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