If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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