I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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