Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
