You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
