Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
