i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
