Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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