i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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