If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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