ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
