Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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