the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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