Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
