i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
