Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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