Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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