plz talk dirty to me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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