he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
