Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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