Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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