You're a womanizer and a bitch.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
