operation have a gay friend backfired
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
