My hair reeks of homosexuality.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
