I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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