yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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