I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
