I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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