Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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