a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
