With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
