I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
