I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
