Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
