If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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