Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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