She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just had sex on a roof
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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