I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
