forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
