The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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