It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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