Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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