last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
