Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
