I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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