Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
