i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
