i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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